Was that phrase awkward? The truth is that casual sex presents a lot of opportunities to invest and withdraw not only physically but emotionally too. It’s a topic that men are a little more comfortable discussing (and possibly creating a score card) but women are still a little sensitive when it comes to being honest about casual sex.
Because everyone we sleep with we should want to marry, right? Yeah right. And while some people prefer long term monogamous relationships others may have a different perspective, particularly if they are divorced or coming straight out of one. The idea of signing “on the dotted line” for a steady, serious commitment is hard when newly minted singles may want to shop around a little. Like trying on shoes, how do you know what you like unless you take the time to try a few on?
The Benefits of Casual Sex
For starters, you get to have sex! That’s a big benefit if you ask us. And while solo sex can get the job done we know that having sex with a partner is far more fun. It also burns more calories (just saying) and releases hormones that can actually have a significant impact on your psychological and physiological health.
- Lowers your blood pressure naturally (afterward)
- Boosts your physical immunity
- Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories
- Reduces risk of heart attack for men and women
- Improved self esteem
Our bodies are built to enjoy sex and to benefit from it. And while abstaining from sex will not land you in the hospital any time soon, it is an important part of your physical and emotional health. Why should you deprive yourself of it simply because you aren’t in a long term relationship?
The Risks of Casual Sex
There are a few emotional risks and health risks to casual sex that are common. If you are a newly single person consider that having casual sex can be gratifying but it can also leave you with some guilt also, particularly if you are a traditional relationship type of person. The first thing that most divorced people do is engage in casual sex because they have the freedom to do so. Some find it invigorating and liberating. For others, the guilt can create anxiety.
You have to be honest with yourself. Can you having emotionally meaningless sex and be okay with it? If not, then it’s probably not the best fit for you. And there are a number of other risks associated with casual sex.
- HPV / HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Your risk increases with each partner you have sex with. Did you know HPV can be transmitted even with a condom?
- Emotional fall out (particularly if it is someone you know). You may be risking a friendship by adding a layer of complication by sleeping together.
- Security. If you don’t know your partner that well, how can you be sure it is safe to be alone with them?
- Quality of sex may suffer also. He or she is not invested in making you happy if it’s just a temporary thing. Don’t expect mind-blowing sex from someone who really doesn’t care about you.
Because of the high divorce rate in North America, more women are becoming single in their forties and fifties and re-entering the dating world. Before you are ready to hit the online dating sites, singles parties and events or the sheets, take some time to think about what you are really ready for and what suits your physical and your emotional needs.
And a pleasure object is a girl’s best friend in the meantime.
Women want more foreplay! Romantic partners need to pay attention to this because skipping foreplay is one of those innocuous things that can put a huge damper on your sex life. While we all know that the “quickie” is a necessity and even exciting from time to time, most people enjoy the build-up of foreplay. It is a “must have” not “nice to have” for the modern woman.
It takes time to engage in foreplay but so much happens in those minutes that lead up to sex that actually improve the quality of the experience for both partners. While some women need lubricant due to health issues or dryness as we age, many women do not in fact need it at all if the lovemaking includes quality foreplay. And our natural lubricant is far more exciting (and effective) than any artificial lubricant on the market. It’s healthier too.
Men Need Foreplay Too
They do. We know because we asked them. And despite what popular television, movies and even pornography tell you Men are not like machines. Men do not simply flip a switch and find themselves erect and ready to get down to business. Men have feelings and they connect just as readily if they are having sex with a romantic partner that they care about.
According to AskMen.com men would love nothing better than a woman who initiates sex. For some reason society has made it an expectation that men should always make the first move and be the seducer. As you can imagine this can get pretty old for most men. Surprise him by laying on your best moves and playbook for playtime instead.
Popular Methods of Preheating
Men and women have different areas and erogenous zones. Being touched in those areas can preheat things pretty quickly if you understand your partner’s body and where they want and need to be touched.
- Let him see you naked. Men are visual creatures and since we live most of our lives covered up, tantalize him with your body. Drop a towel? Game on! Or better yet? Let them undress you. Trust us on that one; it ranks high on the hotness scale.
- Blow cold air on a hot spot. This forces the blood vessels to constrict and extends arousal for both men and women. They call it “blow” for a reason.
- Kiss. And kiss… and kiss. Women love it. Men love it. Don’t skimp on the kisses.
- Oral sex. We don’t need to elaborate on that one.
The difference between having sex and having great sex is the build-up. And the truth is that foreplay doesn’t have to occur immediately before intercourse to be effective. Think outside the box and start the preheating during the work day. Why do you think ‘Sexting’ is so popular? Turn up the heat throughout the day and get cooking when you get home for a great sex life.
Have you ever walked into an adult shop and taken a look at some of the products on the market? The majority of them are not built to last and use poor quality materials and plastics in their construction. A poorly designed sexual product can do a lot more than break, it can sometimes create significant health issues. The reality is that ‘cheap’ toys also don’t last despite the fact that they still charge a lot of money for them. And how many people are willing to return them to the store after they stop working? Not many.
After all you would have to explain how you broke it right? Awkward!
And then it’s the design. Why do almost all pleasure products come shaped like male genitalia? That product style is almost offensive in the way that it tries to mimic the shape and texture of a male. If you are a woman in a same-sex relationship, chances are that shape and style does not appeal at all. No thanks! But whether you are in a heterosexual, same-sex relationship or enjoy your sexy single status (go girl!) you want a toy that works well and get’s the job done. Literally.
When our designers (who are women by the way) started to conceptualize our product line it was important to include an aesthetic that would appeal to everyone. Let’s be honest, we know what “it” looks like but our sex toys don’t have to pretend to be “it” to make us happy. In fact, we went out of our way to design something that would be comfortable to hold and grip, as well as contoured naturally to reach. Our products don’t need to look like the real thing. They are designed with one purpose in mind. To make you happy.
The product line from Duchess Experience looks more like an art form. In fact if your Mom or one of your kids found it in a drawer, they probably would never guess what it is depending on the model. Our engineered style is that discreet and intentionally so. Soft, comfortable but sturdy sensual products that last and are backed by a warranty.
If you’ve ever thought that women should design more sex toys, well we did. And this is what we came up with.
Welcome to the Duchess Experience.
If men knew the kinds of things we talked about with our sisters and friends they’d probably be surprised. After all, the misconception is that men are the only ones that have “sex on the mind” and the myth of the female libido is not a myth at all. We are just finally feeling confident and comfortable enough to talk about the things that matter most in our lives. And sex? For the average woman it is definitely a priority in her life for the record.
As long as it is good. Maybe even excellent.
The equality of women in all areas of life from the boardroom to the bedroom is something that has transitioned our views about sex and sexuality. Generations of women now believe that they have a right to explore their sensuality and gratification. Sex is supposed to be a team sport, and happy couples are willing to explore different techniques and expertise to please their partners. And while the female libido is definitely not a myth, neither is the female orgasm and most people in mutually satisfied sexual relationships will tell you that the couple that “play’s together stays together”. The need to have a fulfilling sex life is equally important to women as it is to men.
A lot of sensual product brands on the market will tiptoe around the concepts of a woman’s sexual pleasure almost as though it is still not “okay” to admit that women have a sex drive. In fact as we age, our sex drive increases on average and we become more confident and more comfortable with expressing our needs and interests and having them satisfied. And why not? A healthy sex life is emotionally gratifying and benefits both our bodies and our minds in many positive ways. When it comes to sex toys, Duchess believes that with so many women discovering how sex toys and specifically, vibrators, can enhance your sex life and bring fun and higher levels of satisfaction into the bedroom. And if your seeking the place to get great information about sex as well as great products that are body save, incredibly fun and built to last, then the Duchess Experience may be your place.
When it comes to pleasure, isn’t it time you came first?
We’re excited about the launch of our collection of sensual products designed for women who deserve nothing less than the best. Over the next 12 months we will be bringing over 40 different new products out for you to see and experience. From our ultra line of premium all silicone rabbit and single shaft vibrators, to wand vibes and more, you’ll find Duchess a unique brand unto itself. Our blog will be a great place to get tips on a variety of topics from relationship and intimacy advice to tips on how to rekindle the spark (or throw some gasoline on it depending on your needs). Whether you are one half of a couple or a single woman, you will find humor and relativity on our blog as we explore what it means to “have an incredible experience every time” with Duchess. Most of all, have fun!
Dating is a little bit like the game of hide and seek. Sometimes you want to be found and other times you want to just sit back and watch other people have all the adventure and the risk. There are people who define themselves as serial daters, who just enjoy meeting new people and having some social interaction from time to time. And then there are women and men out there who are looking for “the one”. That special match that leads to a diamond ring and new side-by-side front loading laundry machines.
And someone to take out the garbage too. Squish spiders. You know, the important stuff. Not that there is anything wrong with being single at all. You may have to squish your own bugs but you do get to watch what you want on the television without negotiation.
Some women who date think that single men should come with warning labels. That way you’d definitely know what you were getting into before you started down the path to getting serious in a relationship that is really more about luck than your expertise. At the beginning anyhow. And for every romantic ending there are a few more less glorious “crash and burn” scenarios for single men and women which hurt but are necessary to help us zero in on the personality that will suit us the best.
If you are the type of person that found your true love immediately without the up’s and down’s of dating the hard way? We might not like you. But we thought this infographic was great for two reasons. First, it gives a play-by-play for men that need to brush up on their inner Lothario. For women? It is a complete checklist of what to watch out for because we all love a good player.
Like waxing. We really love that too.