Was that phrase awkward?   The truth is that casual sex presents a lot of opportunities to invest and withdraw not only physically but emotionally too.  It’s a topic that men are a little more comfortable discussing (and possibly creating a score card) but women are still a little sensitive when it comes to being honest about casual sex.

Because everyone we sleep with we should want to marry, right?  Yeah right.  And while some people prefer long term monogamous relationships others may have a different perspective, particularly if they are divorced or coming straight out of one.   The idea of signing “on the dotted line” for a steady, serious commitment is hard when newly minted singles may want to shop around a little.  Like trying on shoes, how do you know what you like unless you take the time to try a few on?

The Benefits of Casual Sex

For starters, you get to have sex!  That’s a big benefit if you ask us.  And while solo sex can get the job done we know that having sex with a partner is far more fun.  It also burns more calories (just saying) and releases hormones that can actually have a significant impact on your psychological and physiological health.

  • Lowers your blood pressure naturally (afterward)
  • Boosts your physical immunity
  • Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories
  • Reduces risk of heart attack for men and women
  • Improved self esteem

Our bodies are built to enjoy sex and to benefit from it.  And while abstaining from sex will not land you in the hospital any time soon, it is an important part of your physical and emotional health.   Why should you deprive yourself of it simply because you aren’t in a long term relationship?

The Risks of Casual Sex

There are a few emotional risks and health risks to casual sex that are common.  If you are a newly single person consider that having casual sex can be gratifying but it can also leave you with some guilt also, particularly if you are a traditional relationship type of person.  The first thing that most divorced people do is engage in casual sex because they have the freedom to do so.  Some find it invigorating and liberating.  For others, the guilt can create anxiety.

You have to be honest with yourself.  Can you having emotionally meaningless sex and be okay with it?  If not, then it’s probably not the best fit for you.    And there are a number of other risks associated with casual sex.

  • HPV / HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.  Your risk increases with each partner you have sex with.  Did you know HPV can be transmitted even with a condom? 
  • Emotional fall out (particularly if it is someone you know).  You may be risking a friendship by adding a layer of complication by sleeping together. 
  • Security.  If you don’t know your partner that well, how can you be sure it is safe to be alone with them? 
  • Quality of sex may suffer also.  He or she is not invested in making you happy if it’s just a temporary thing.  Don’t expect mind-blowing sex from someone who really doesn’t care about you.

Because of the high divorce rate in North America, more women are becoming single in their forties and fifties and re-entering the dating world.   Before you are ready to hit the online dating sites, singles parties and events or the sheets, take some time to think about what you are really ready for and what suits your physical and your emotional needs.

And a pleasure object is a girl’s best friend in the meantime.